culture of shame
This week, we looked at cyberbullying and the “shame game.” This week was particularly important to me, but not because I was a victim of cyberbully. I feel like I have been a part of the problem by ignoring it by not realizing the magnitude of it. This week forced me to look at my behavior and what part I have done to contribute to the “shame game” and what I can do to create a positive, safe culture for my students and coworkers.
could monica lewinsky have survived the social media age?
In the video, Lewinsky mentioned how digital technology had extended the “echo of embarrassment” (Lewinsky, 2015). Our embarrassment used to only extend as far as our family and our local community, but now it is open to the whole online community. Unfortunately, many of us, including myself, have become numb to the suffering and humiliation of others.
Public shaming has been around for ages. I was only in middle school, but I remember all the news surrounding Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and Paris Hilton. So much of gossip back then was based on the drug addicts, the mentally ill, and the out of control. Most people thought none of it until recently. Now, like most people, I cringe at all gossips stories that poked fun of celebrities who were clearly suffering from some form of mental illness. But in today’s connected world, the internet and social media has turned public humiliation into a new ballgame or “shame game.” Public shaming has become even more profitable thanks to social media and marketing tactics, such as clickbait articles.
I was only seven when the Clinton scandal occurred, but I remember my parents taking much about it. If the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal had occurred today, it would have still been a worldwide scandal due to the fact it involved a sitting president and a young, attractive woman. It would have still been plastered all over TV, newspapers, and magazines. But I feel like today, the story would have been even more magnified. The closet example I could think of is Meghan Markle. Most know little about her but have strong opinions about her. Social media and the internet have not been kind to her. But at the same time, I have seen many people who have never met her stick up for her online, defending her at any chance.
I think if the Clinton scandal happened today, Monica would not only get shamed for her actions, but even a legion of support. One could argue, it was Clinton who broke his vows, not Monica. It is important that we find a way to cope in this culture of shaming. From my own experience, shaming others is easy, even cathartic. But it is important to remember that those on the receiving end of a public shaming can be devastated. So, think before you speak and avoid doing things you know you would be embarrassed to show your family, friends, or even coworkers.
what can I do to prevent cyberbullying and promote kindness?
I do not believe there is enough time or money in the world that will stop all people from mistreating others. However, there are things we can do at school to help prevent cyberbullying and promote civility.
First, we should promote awareness. Staff should use their unlimited time to educating students about all forms of bullying. Students have the responsibility to ensure the safety of their friends and peers. That means teachers and school leaders should model appropriate behavior.
There needs to be open lines of communication. Students should feel comfortable and safe at school, and that includes staff members who are open to discussion bullying with students. However, I know there are students out there who would prefer not to be known. There should be anonymous reporting for those who are uncomfortable making the report. But there should also be swift, appropriate actions to all reports. If nothing is done, many will feel that the school does not care and will be less willing to report again.
A positive school climate can have a tremendous effect on reducing the amount of bullying on campuses. Schools can create a positive school culture by cultivating a sense of hope and positivity. Schools can achieve this by showing compassion, empathy, and guidance, and it would not cost a dime. I would suggest promoting positive things students are doing, like celebrating their successes and highlighting acts of kindness. Lastly, students should be involved in every step in stopping cyberbullying. They will have the biggest impact on student attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. They can act as student leaders or even hold presentations in classes.
Researching how to prevent cyberbully has really opened my eyes and how to really create a bully free zone. The no tolerance policy at my campus has created an atmosphere that I would say resembles the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy. I feel like many of my students, even peers, are afraid to speak up in fear of retaliation. The research I have done, especially the videos, have shown me the gravity of the cyberbullying and how it can destroy a person. I guess my ignorance has led me to believe that it was not that big of deal, at least compared to traditional bullying. But it is and feel that my past apathy has made me a part of the problem. I think the articles addressing bullying in schools was poignant and a necessary read for anyone. I will try to do my part to promote kindness, compassion, and empathy to help reduce bullying at school and make my classroom a safe place for my students.
References
Hinduja, S. & Patchin, J.W. (2015). Developing a positive school climate: Top ten tips to prevent bullying and cyberbullying. Cyberbullying Research Center. Hinduja_Patchin_School-Climate-Top-Ten-Tips-To-Prevent-Cyberbullying.pdf
Lewinsky, M. (2012, March 20). The price of shame. [Video]. TED Conferences. https://www.ted.com/talks/monica_lewinsky_the_price_of_shame?language=en
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